My Thoughts on hCG Diet

ABC4 in Utah did a story about the hCG diet a few nights ago. They showed people that have had great success...better success than me in fact and they were raving about the diet and the clinic that they went to.

Then they had this nutritionist from the University of Utah that said that this diet starves the weight off and that is very dangerous.

I can tell you from my experience BEING pregnant and overweight and my experience doing the injections of the hCG diet that I was not starving and my body burned fat in places that I've NEVER been able to lose it. My back, my neck, my BUTT and my legs.

These area's are still smaller even though I've gained back 8 pounds due to TOM (I really need to get a handle on him) and my recent oral surgery.

You can and will lose the weight on this diet. The KEY is that you MUST watch what you eat when you are done or the pounds will creep back on. I'm also living proof to that.

If you really want the full scoop on this diet and how I did...go through my archives starting at the end of December. I tried to post as much as I could and I was very honest with what I was going through and my thoughts.

This diet wasn't super easy for me, it was hard to break some old habits and I'm still struggling with that. But for me it was the answer I was looking for.

Dr. Google Is Not My Friend

As I sat in the waiting room of the Lab at the hospital waiting my turn to have 6 vials of blood drawn, a Mom and her teenage daughter walked in.  The daughter was dressed like a street walker...short skirt, 6 inch black heels and a bustier.  My first thought was....please God don't let Mallory ever want to dress like that.  But then my thoughts became deeper and I prayed that God would let me live to see Mallory dress like that.

Those are the kinds of thoughts that go through your mind when you're jonesing for coffee, starving and scared shitless because the four hours of allergy testing only showed an allergy for Kentucky Blue Grass that you didn't know you had.

I had a hunch that something bad was coming when I spent 46 minutes waiting for the doctor to return with my results.  Good news comes faster....

She tried to explain to me that I do not have a venom allergy and that my swollen lip is not caused by anything I'm eating, drinking, breathing or touching.  There is something inside my body causing it.

Something that, although rare....must have been triggered by the bee sting 8 months ago.  And that's why I had blood drawn for testing for systemic diseases.   This is also a good time to note that you should never google Systemic Diseases in a hospital waiting room.  This should only be done in the privacy of your own home....so that when you freak the fuck out....you're with people that love you and not some little old lady that wants you to know that the plants in the waiting room are thriving because of the lights...much like marijuana plants that are grown in drug houses.  

There is also a very good chance that I found myself at Burger King ordering a Whopper and it was the most delicious thing I've ever eaten.  I was full the rest of the day and didn't eat dinner and miraculously lost a little over a pound.

The results to my tests...if the news is bad, will arrive in a week.  Otherwise, I will be going over the results with my doctor in three weeks.  Why do the doctors here always make me wait three weeks?

Until we know what's going on....I was advised to stop the hCG diet because it is a growth hormone and it makes cancer and diseases accelerate.  I knew this going in...I just never in a million years thought there could be anything wrong with me.

Do you want some good news?  My blood pressure was 109/68!  At my last visit with Dr. Cindi in January it was 109/79.

Easter is Cancelled

Round 3, Phase 2, Day 14    Days Remaining  14

Starting Weight:        187
Yesterday's Weight:  181.2

Todays Weight:         182.6

Released:                   1.4  pounds

Week One Release:  3.2 pounds
Week Two Release:  1.2 pounds....and counting


I am so freakin irritated right now.  During this cold I gained back almost 4 pounds.  Part of this is the body's defense mechanism and part of it is because I felt so bad that I ate a couple things that I shouldn't have....comfort food.

This is why I've decided to cancel Easter.  Well....not EASTER but Easter dinner.  I can't eat ham and I don't really feel like preparing an elaborate meal that I can't eat so we will eat normally.  I do dread bringing anymore chocolate into the house.

Perhaps I'll bring in just enough for the day.  Only put a small amount into the children's Easter baskets.

And this brings to the final countdown....

14 days (not counting today) left.

OH!  Good news today....I'm going to the Allergist finally to see if they can make my lip stop swelling up.

Fighting a Cold

Round 3, Phase 2, Day 12

Starting Weight:        187
Yesterday's Weight:  178.8

Todays Weight:         181.2

Released:                   2.4  pounds

Week One Release:  3.2 pounds
Week Two Release:  2.6 pounds....and counting

UGH...I have a cold.  It's really weird how the human body reacts to illness.  As soon as the sore throat and runny nose started...I started to notice my wedding ring feeling tight on my finger. I'm up 2.4 pounds...which I know is impossible because I haven't eaten hardly anything.  Nothing sounds good and even coffee tastes bad.

I hope this doesn't last very long because I was thinking of ending this round right before Easter so I could enjoy the holiday (minus the chocolate and my favorite potatoes).  At this rate...I may just skip Easter dinner altogether.   I don't think my family would really care anyway.

My other potential stop date is the weekend after Easter (the 10th) because my daughter and I are throwing a tea party.

Remember the Oscar party I attended with my husband and the blue martini incident?  My friend Sara who threw the party sent me the pictures yesterday and I was soooo pleased with how they turned out.

It's a Miracle!

Round 3, Phase 2, Day 10

Starting Weight:        187
Yesterday's Weight:  181.2

Todays Weight:         178.8

Released:                   2.4  pounds

Week One Release:  3.2 pounds
Week Two Release:  5 pounds....and counting


DID YOU SEE THAT???????


I have lost 5 pounds in the last two days.   Here's what is curious about this.  I started to lose more weight when I started giving myself the shots four days ago...when I started measuring the hCG myself....and not having my sister do it.

Either we're experiencing a miracle here....or I wasn't getting enough hCG!


We went shopping yesterday and discovered that we are wearing the same size now. And Oh my Heck, I bought a new bra yesterday....36C and the straps are TINY...like a training bra!  Even the fastener in the back is small.  I guess when you're hauling around a lot of weight your undergarments have to be industrial sized.

Edited:  Just realized...I haven't weighed this weight since HIGH SCHOOL!  23 years ago....

I Has NOT Cheeseburger

Round 3, Phase 2, Day 9

Starting Weight:        187
Yesterday's Weight:  183.8

Todays Weight:         181.2

Released:                   2.6  pounds

Week One Release:  3.2 pounds
Week Two Release:  2.6 pounds....and counting

Holy Cow!  Did you see that up there?  2.6 pounds in one day.

I went to the grocery store by myself yesterday after returning from a little boy's birthday party where I turned down cake.  While shopping....I started to crave a cheeseburger and since I was alone...no one would know if I went through the Wendy's drive thru and got one.

There was a line in the drive thru and I don't like lines plus someone might see my car and wonder what I was doing in line at Wendy's.

I went home and thought about that cheeseburger all night.


I'm so glad I didn't get that cheeseburger.....

Water Please

Round 3, Phase 2, Day 8

Starting Weight:        187
Yesterday's Weight:  184

Todays Weight:        183.8

Released:                   .2 pounds

Week One Release:  3.2 pounds

I didn't drink enough water yesterday. And I didn't get much sleep last night...my daughter has a cough and my legs were cramping up. I hope I do better tomorrow....


Bobbi forgot to give me my shot yesterday so I had to give it to myself. It wasn't so bad so I think I will just do it myself from now on so I don't have to wait for her.


I've got a crazy plan in my head about a way to surprise my husband with a big reveal when I finish this round.  I just have to coordinate a bunch of things and I'm hoping that planning this will help keep my mind off the losing and on the goal!


I'll tell you more about it this week.....

We Are All Precious

Round 3, Phase 2, Day 7

Starting Weight:        187
Yesterday's Weight:  185

Todays Weight:         184

Released:                    1 pounds


What an emotional week!

I think my daughter's birthday brought all kinds of emotions up for me and has made it hard to get my head where it needs to be to do this.  The last few weeks, God has been testing me too....there is the possibility that my husband will be getting a job 5 miles from my parent's house.  The parents that I'm estranged from at the moment.  And I keep getting little messages about forgiveness.

He's definitely trying to tell me something.

I have all of this *stuff* crammed in a closet and when I open the door a little bit...everything comes falling out.  Why can't the emotions and memories be in nice little boxes that I can open one at a time and deal with them?

If you are in a state like this...the worst thing you can do is watch Precious.  I watched it yesterday during nap time and it's a heart wrenching film.  I was exhausted after watching it and just so sad. One thing I did realize was that there are women out there that have had much worse things happen to them.  My problems aren't that bad and I can do something about it.

But it's still ONLY ME that can prevent forest fires.  Was anyone else traumatized by those ads as a child or was it just me?  That's a lot of pressure to put on a kid....

Yesterday, I was worried that my hCG was no longer potent because I've been sooo hungry.  Bobbi called the pharmacist and he said it should be good for 60 days.  Mine is 69 days old.  I did some research online and found out I could test it by putting some on a pregnancy test.

I used to buy them by the bucketfull so I went to my stash and found that I only had one left and it was a digital one.  I felt silly standing around the kitchen waiting to find out if my drugs were pregnant but the good news is that we got a YES!

I thought about tricking my husband....but I didn't.  He's probably have a heart attack or something.

I'm Like Smokey Bear

Round 3, Phase 2, Day 6

Starting Weight:        187
Yesterday's Weight:  185.6

Todays Weight:         185

Released:                    .6 pounds

Thank you everyone that commented yesterday and gave me your thoughts on what a normal weight should be.  You're right...it's different for everyone.

I did end up discussing it with my husband (against my better judgement) and he wants me to lose another 10 pounds.  I kind of figured that's what he was going to say because all of his previous girlfriends (BC...Before Connie) were thin and beautiful.  *Connie Rolls Her Eyes*

Thinking about body image and self-esteem leaves me with a pit in my stomach because I grew up with a father that never thought I was thin enough and threatened to divorce my Mom if she didn't lose weight.  I watched her struggle with her weight and go on diet after diet.

I don't want my daughter to ever feel the way I did or witness this kind of behavior.  It's so important to me that the mistakes of my childhood never be repeated and it feels sometimes like I'm the only one that prevent that.  I'm like Smokey Bear and ONLY I can prevent forest fires.  Son of a Pelosi!  Being a Mom is exhausting!

Anyway, thanks for listening.  I guess I need to go work on my Stepford Wife Transformation.....

What is Normal?

Round 3, Phase 2, Day 5

Starting Weight:        187
Yesterday's Weight:  187

Todays Weight:         185.6

Released:                    1.4 pounds

I took my measurements this morning.

I'm really happy with my progress and according to the size chart at Banana Republic...I'm now a size 12.  This thrills me to no end but it's also been giving me much to think about today.  All my life....I wanted to be a 12.  When I was a teenager...I always wore a size 11 (junior sizes run odd numbers for some crazy reason) and I thought I was perfect at that size.

After I graduated from high school and gained weight...I always dreamed of being a size 12 again.  I considered that a healthy size for me and it was where I always longed to be again.

When I look at myself in the mirror without clothes....I like what I see.  I'm not skinny but I'm much thinner and proportionate.  I still have pockets of fat (my little mommy belly) but much of the fat rolls have disappeared.  The pants that I've bought fit me really well and they look good on me.

At 185.6 pounds my BMI is 28.3 and according to the charts....my normal weight should be 164 pounds.

So...here's the thing.  I know that I have more muscle and possibly bone than a normal person.  I am not a small boned person.  This morning I did this little test to figure out what my bone structure is and it's medium....almost large.  This would put my normal weight between 169 and 180 according to this website.

Then I took their body fat test and it told me that I have 21% fat.  Which comes to 38.9 pounds of fat and 146.1 pounds of muscle, bone and body water.  According to their data...a healthy body fat percentage is 22% and now I'm just below that.

You're probably wondering where I'm going with this.

I don't want to be skinny.  I don't want to bust my ass to maintain a weight that is unrealistic for me.  Which brings me to the reason for this post.

Do I really need to lose 20 more pounds? 

I'm trying to be realistic and I'm thinking about my daughter and how my weight is going to effect her life.  I would rather easily maintain a size 12 than struggle to maintain a size 8.  My goal was to get my weight under control before she could remember me being overweight and not have my struggles influence her body image. The goal was to be a normal, healthy weight and not skinny.

I've been so wrapped up in losing weight and I love seeing the results on the scale and I almost feel like I've become addicted to the excitement of seeing results everyday.  But how much is too much?  How much weight (pun intended) should we put in the charts that insurance companies and doctor's offices use?


What should my normal weight be....and when should I say enough is enough and stop dieting?

Fast Food Chicken

Round 3, Phase 2, Day 4

Starting Weight:          187

Yesterday's Weight:   184

Todays Weight:           187

Released Gained:        3   pounds

 

 

TOM is  having a hayday with me this month.  And I made a mistake yesterday.  I was out doing some shopping with my famliy and I didn't plan ahead and ended up eating at McDonalds.  I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich (i removed the bun) and an iced tea....but they gave me SWEET TEA and I didn't take it back.  I was so hungry and thirsty that I just drank it.  I'm concerned that there is just too much sodium/fat in the fast food chicken and I'm retaining water (among other things) today.

I feel like crap.

This could also be due to the fact that I watched FOOD, INC the other day.  Have you seen this?  Totally freaked me out and made me want to stop eating meat from the grocery store and never eat fast food again.  The good news is that we've cut way back on that since I've been on this diet.  My family is definitely healthier since I've started this.

 

I'm All In

Round 3, Phase 2, Day 3

Starting Weight:          187

Yesterday's Weight:   188.6 

Todays Weight:           184

Released:                      4.6   pounds

 

That's what I'm talking about! 

 

 I had a conversation with my brother in law on Saturday about food addiction.  After seeing me in person for the first time since I started this diet...he's interested in trying it too.  But before he committed to it...I thought I should talk about his addictions first because if you can't get a handle on them while going through this process...then it's a waste of time and energy.  

While talking to him I realized just how far I've come on this journey and what I've learned about myself.  More than anything...I feel like I've fought a battle and I've won.  That is becoming more evident when I'm off from the hormone and can make my own choices.  I'm making good ones and some of my old habits are gone....never to return. 

Remember how sad I was about bread?  I don't miss it anymore.  Chocolate and wine will always be my good friends and I think that's okay because I've also learned that I can have them...in smaller quantities.  Apparently, me and vodka have not reached that understanding yet so for now....I will refrain.

And another thing?  It's mostly in my head.  Last round, I wasn't 100% in the game but this time...I'm all in!

Round 3, Day 2

Round 3, Day 2

Starting Weight:          187

Todays Weight:           188.6

LOAD WEIGHT:           1.6 pounds

 

 

I started back on the hCG yesterday and I decided to just do one load day.  I took a 9 day break so I didn't think I needed the whole shebang.  I ate my favorite McDonald's Burrito, cheese, cake, one piece of pizza and a caesar salad.

I felt so horrible last night that I could barely sleep.  It was rough! 

I feel so much better when I'm not eating carbs.....

The plan:

My son's 4th birthday is in 38 days.  I'm going to try very hard to make it the entire 38 days or 21 pounds...whichever comes first.  Ideally, I'd like to reach 21 pounds in 21 days but we'll see what happens.

About Face

Round 2, Day 18....3 Days Remaining

Starting Weight:          194 (+3.4 load weight)

Today's Weight:          186

Yesterday's Weight:   186.6

Released:                      .6 pounds

Week One Released:     2.6 lbs (+3.4 load weight) 6 lbs total

Week Two Released:     3.6 lbs

Week Three Released:  1.8 lbs

My last injection for this short round was yesterday...now I follow the VLCD for two more days and then Thursday I can eat more....I miss my eggs and cheese.  I'm going to a birthday party Thursday night so I altered my ending date slightly.  All of a sudden, I'm very popular! 

Check out these pictures!  

 

December 25 ~ 211 pounds

 

February 28th ~ 187 pounds

Happy Dance

Round 2, Day 17....4 Days Remaining

Starting Weight:            194 (+3.4 load weight)
Today's Weight:            186.6
Yesterday's Weight:     187.6
Released:                        1 pound

Week One Released:    2.6 lbs (+3.4 load weight) 6 pounds total

Week Two Released:    3.6 lbs

Week Three Released: 1.2 lbs

I ate Raisinettes. BUT I lost an entire pound!! *Connie does the happy dance* Avatar was wonderful! Exciting and sad and happy and LONG....so I was starving and went to the concession stand half way through and bought a box.

I had such a great weekend...seeing movies, shopping at Target for Birthday presents for my daughter and I had coffee with my blogging friend Jen and she was everything I hoped she'd be. I've been thinking about it....and I'm gonna be sad if we do leave Utah because I've made some wonderful friends here.

Have a great Monday everyone! 

Eating Out is Hard to Do

Round 2, Day 16....6 Days Remaining

Starting Weight:            194 (+3.4 load weight)
Today's Weight:            187.6
Yesterday's Weight:     187.8
Released:                        .2 pounds

Week One Released:    2.6 lbs (+3.4 load weight) 6 pounds total

Week Two Released:    3.6 lbs

Week Three Released:   .2 lbs 

Yesterday, I weighted exactly the same as Friday which I think is a miracle because I ate out at a restaurant. My mother in law as in Salt Lake City so we went up to have dinner with her and ended up at Chili's. I thought it would be a safe choice since they grill most of their food. I was wrong.

I tried to play it safe by explaining to the waiter that I was on a special diet and ordering the chicken fajita and onions without sides. It was grilled but it appeared to have some kind of coating on it...not oily, but saucy. Oh well. At least I didn't gain.

Bobbi and I went to see a couple movies yesterday. I finally saw New Moon and we saw The Lovely Bones too. Both movies were great and I resisted popcorn. I did have a large handful of Raisinettes and a large Diet Dr. Pepper and still lost .2 pounds. Not too bad for a little bitty cheat.

Today, Calvin and I are going to see Avatar. No Raisinettes for me......

Cycling...but not on a Bike

Round 2, Day 14....8 Days Remaining

Starting Weight:            194 (+3.4 load weight)
Today's Weight:            187.8
Yesterday's Weight:     188
Released:                        .2 pounds

Week One Released:    2.6 lbs (+3.4 load weight) 6 pounds total

Week Two Released:    3.6 lbs

Wow...it's Friday already. Where did this week go? I wanted to tell you about an adjustment that I'm making in my round. You may have noticed that my days remaining went from 14 to 8. I'm not quitting....oh no.  I'm going to do a planned interruption for two reasons.

1. I have a lot of hCG left to use.
2. I've been invited to an Oscar Party and my daughter's 3rd Birthday is the same week.

I will be taking a break for 7 days and in those days I will eat a very strict Phase 3 diet (I won't be eating cake) but then I will be able to enjoy these two events and then pick up where I left off.  In the protocol world this is also called cycling and many people have better success because they do the diet for 3 weeks and then take a break so it's not so hard.  I kind of like this idea and I think I'd like to try it until my hCG runs out.

I know from experience that 40 injections are too long for me so this seems like a great solution.  Plus, it's not always possible to stick to this tough of a diet plan for that long.  Life happens and you still want to be able to enjoy it.

Have a great weekend!

Stress, Stress Go Away

Round 2, Day 13....15 Days Remaining

Starting Weight:            194 (+3.4 load weight)
Today's Weight:            188
Yesterday's Weight:     188.4
Released:                        .4 pounds

Week One Released:    2.6 lbs (+3.4 load weight) 6 pounds total

Week Two Released:    3.4 lbs

I didn't lose anything yesterday.  It's bound to happen that the weight slows down and some days you don't lose.  I wasn't hungry at all yesterday and I had to force myself to eat.  That is so bizzarre to me....

I'm stressing out about this new opportunity for my husband and I'm hoping to be able to talk more about it next week.  It's killing me to have to keep it in!!  Things could start moving very quickly and I'm not sure I'm ready.

In the meantime, I've been decluttering and organizing in the event that we do move....somewhere. 

Happy...that's all

Round 2, Day 11....17 Days Remaining

Starting Weight:            194 (+3.4 load weight)
Today's Weight:            188.4
Yesterday's Weight:     189.2
Released:                        .8 pounds

Week One Released:    2.6 lbs (+3.4 load weight) 6 pounds total

Week Two Released:    3 lbs

I can't believe this....but I have nothing to say today. I'm just sooo happy to be in the 180's and I hope I can make it to the 170's....that would be amazing!


Have a great day!

Tales From The Fitting Room

Round 2, Day 10....18 Days Remaining

Starting Weight:            194 (+3.4 load weight)
Today's Weight:            189.2
Yesterday's Weight:     189.6
Released:                        .4 pounds

Week One Released:    2.6 lbs (+3.4 load weight) 6 pounds total

Week Two Released:    2.2 lbs

I went to Target yesterday to buy some new underwear and shirts. My experience buying clothes in the past has always left me disappointed. The last time I bought some T shirts at Target I bought XXL and they were really tight...luckily by the end of the day they'd stretch out a little.

My first burst of excitement took place when I looked at the back of a package of underwear and realized that I'm now a MEDIUM. I didn't quite believe it so I only bought one package as an experiment.

Next I picked out a colorful selection of t shirts in two different sizes. XL and L....I was sure I'd be giving the L shirts back to the dressing room attendant. I tried on the XL's and they were too big. The LARGE fit just right! I started HOOTING AND HOLLERING....and doing a little dance! I'm a freakin LARGE people!!

It was all I could do to restrain myself from buying every single size LARGE shirt in the store. But as Bobbi reminded me....there's a chance I could end up a MEDIUM! Because HECK...my butt already is.

In the checkout line, Bobbi told me that I really needed to do something about my pants....because they are so big that it looks like I'm wearing my husband's clothes.  She's right...it's time to purge again except that leaves me with like 5 items of clothing that fit me and I have an adversion to laundry.

I couldn't wait to get home and try on my MEDIUM underwear and I was really shocked when I took them out of the package and they were the size of my 2 year old daughter's panties. I held them up to my self and Bobbi almost died laughing.  My fears were soon diminished when I found the piece of cardboard attached that said DON'T WORRY...these will fit...they STRETCH.

I ran upstairs to try them on and my husband was right behind me.  No doubt he thought I was going to need assistance getting these tiny panties on or he was hoping they wouldn't go on...if you know what I mean.

THEY FIT!  Like a glove.....