WFG Workshop: Week 1

Week one of the Women, Food and God Workshop contains questions relating to the Prologue (and apparently...I'm behind because the questions for chapter two have been released already). You can find them here. 

1. The prologue begins with "80 hungry women" sitting in a circle together, waiting to eat and pay attention to how they use food. If you were one of those women being asked to be silent and pay attention to themselves, their hunger and their many feelings about food, how do you think you would feel?

I am a very visual person.  If I see a KFC or ARBY'S commercial on TV...I want to get some.  Immediately.  I think I would have become somewhat agitated and felt irritated with Geneen like some of the women were.


2. From page 2: "Our relationship to food is an exact microcosm of our relationship to life itself. You are a walking and talking expressions of your deepest convictions; everything you believe about love, fear, transformation and God is revealed in how, when and what you eat."

What are your deepest convictions, and how do you think they show up on your plate every day?

If I am completely honest with myself...I believe that I am only lovable if I'm thin,  men cheat and leave and people don't really change.  This is what I've learned from my childhood and first 12 years of my adult life.  The thing is...I found an amazing man and I know that these things are not true anymore but I still act like they are.  There were many years that I ate my feelings but I'm in a good relationship now and I don't have to do that anymore.


3. On page 5, Laurie says that things are hard, but at least she has food. Do you relate to her? Do you use food when things get hard? If so, does using food make things easier?

Before I met my current husband I was married to people that made me feel terrible about myself.  Our life together was extremely hard, lonely and I spent a lot of time filling the hole in my heart with food.  Sadly, I'd feel better for a short amount of time and then I would still have the feelings to deal with.  I also started to medicate with alcohol and made stupid decisions.  I still find myself turning to food when life gets hard but I'm getting better about it.  Wine is still a good friend....


4. On page 13, author Geneen Roth writes about her many diets and her weight history. Take a moment to consider your own food and weight history. What has it been like? Did the ups and downs of it correspond with particular events in your life? As you begin to read Women, Food and God, notice the feelings you have about what has and hasn't happened in your relationship with food. As you enter a brand new process and start a new journey, do you feel discouraged? Hopeless? Excited? Does a part of you believe that nothing will work? It's good to name those feelings so that you don't sabotage yourself with them.

1987...first serious relation with a boy.  Weight Gain of 20 pounds.
1990...first marriage. Husband had alcohol and anger issues.  Weight Gain of 20 more pounds. 
1994...divorced and lost 30 pounds...finally taking care of myself.
1995...married an alcoholic.  Gained 60 pounds over 5 years.
2000...escaped with my life and 20 boxes of belongings. Divorce.
2001...single, lost 50 pounds and really worked on myself. 
2003...found the love of my life, bought a house, planned a wedding.
2004...married, trying to get pregnant, lost baby, gained 20 pounds.
2006...gave birth to baby boy, happy
2007...gave birth to baby girl, happy
2008...life with 2 under 2 is hard...gained 20 pounds
2010...lots of stress, hcg diet, lost almost 30 pounds, struggling to keep off.

I am a stress eater, especially when I'm having problems in my relationships.  I also eat for just about any feeling...sad, lonely, bored, mad...and I eat when I'm happy to celebrate! I think if I could get the stress and bored eating under control I'd be on my way to stopping my compulsive eating. 

5. From page 16: "Not sure what you really believe? Pay attention to the way you act—and to what you do when things don't go the way you think they should. Just for today, pay attention to what you value. Reflect on how you spend your time and your money. Pay attention to what you eat." What do you do when things don't go the way you want them to go? What do you really believe about your place here on earth? Do you think your life has meaning? Do you believe you are doomed to fail or that you are worthy no matter what you weigh?

When things don't go my way...my first instinct is to eat cookies. This started in high school when I started dating boys and I would hide boxes of butter cookies in my closet.  This is when I started to gain weight. I feed anxiety.  And I do feel better...for a little while. 


I do feel that I have an important place on earth but I've also struggled with my weight for so long that I thought I was meant to be a heavy person. I don't want to pass this on to my children.  A couple weeks ago when we went to Denver, my daughter told us that she wanted a big belly like Daddy, her Uncles and Grandpa!  That's what she saw....and she wanted to be like them!

6. How has food served as a source of punishment and/or shame in your life? What do you think it would take for you to really change your relationship with food?

I suppose one could say that I punish myself with food.  When have been single and taking care of myself and paying attention to my emotions...I don't medicate with food. I think for me to change my relationship with food I'm going to have to find other ways to deal with emotions and let go of things that happened in my past that started the ball rolling.