Friday, May 22, 2009

Desperate Measures!

I'm pissed.

I'm so sick and tired of busting my ass (pun intended) and not having anything to show for it. I have suspected for a while that there is something wrong. This is not the first time that I've worked really hard with exercise and diet and seen very little results. I've lost and gained the same 8 pounds over and over for the last two years. The only time I really lost a good chunk was when I had food poisoning.

Last year, after working out and eating healthy daily for 4 months with no change in weight or measurements....I went the doctor thinking there had to be something physically wrong with me. Every test came back fine except that my good Cholesterol was low and my bad was high. And then my doctor had the nerve to tell me that I needed to lose weight. I even went on a medication called Topamax because I have migraines and it helps people lose weight. Not me. I dropped three pounds on it and that was it.

So here I am 8 weeks into this version of my journey and I'm stuck again. I don't want to go another 8 weeks working hard without results so I've decided to do something drastic. My friend Monica told me about the Liver Cleanse Diet. I did some research and I've purchased some pills from my health food store. Tomorrow, I will be on a juice/liquid fast and then Sunday and Monday I will be doing a colon cleanse.

Here is my plan:

Saturday: Begin Colon Cleanse pills, juice, homemade chicken broth, Detox Tea
Sunday: Salt Water Solution (1 qt of water with 2 teaspoons Sea Salt), juice, broth, Tea
Monday: Salt Water Solution, Oprah's Green Smoothie, broth, tea, fruit.
Tuesday: Start adding food back...fruit, veggies, fish, nuts. Start taking Acidophilus tablets.
Next 8 weeks....I will eat a diet mainly consisting of fruit, veggies, chicken, fish, eggs, brown rice and Sprout bread. There is more...but it's all I can think of right now. I will not eat dairy, fried, fast or processed food. I will add coffee back after a week but I am eliminating soda completely.

I feel like the diet more along the lines of how I should be eating, with the exception for eliminating dairy. I feel like the cleanse is necessary to get rid of all of the bad stuff that is plugging up my liver and gall bladder and allow it to work properly.

When I was at the health food store....the cashier made a comment about my purchases and I told her what my plan was. She told me to *brace myself*. Which kind of scared the shit out of me. (pun intended) When I went to get my veggies and fruits....I thought about buying the extra soft Northern Bath Tissue....just in case.

My husband is prepared for the aftermath of the next few days and he is offering his full support. I'm imagining the detox, plus withdrawal from soda and coffee will be traumatic and much like that of an alcoholic. Things could get ugly.

The good thing is that I know I'm doing this to get healthy and that I will feel so much better when it is over. I have these addictions that must be dealt with....sugar, caffeine, processed food and US Weekly. It's going to be tough...but I can do it!

My Symptoms of Liver Dysfunction:
Inability to lose weight while dieting
Sluggish metabolism
Gall stones
Abdominal bloating
Irritable Bowel syndrome
Craving for sugar

My Twitterscope for today!
It's easy for you to hold on to an exciting vision today without becoming too impractical about it. Just because you can imagine something extraordinary that you want to do doesn't mean your goal is beyond your reach. But even if you're trying extra hard to keep yourself grounded, don't let this be a justification to talk yourself into letting go of a dream. Believing in the impossible will help you stretch beyond your normal limits.


  1. I rooting for you! But I'm nervous for you too. Those cleanse things kinda make me nervous. Please be careful because we love you!

    I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated. :(

  2. Well, I've never done a cleanse but I have slammed back a few castor oil cocktails as a means of getting a post due date baby to "get born already!" The castor oil didn't induce labor but I lost 3 lbs. It didn't hurt, and it was over before it started. Just one trip to the bathroom and "void." Hopefully, you'll have a similar experience... No one wants to be in the bathroom all day.

  3. Wow... you are a brave woman. Good luck!!

  4. Girly, keep the faith. The first sign of loosing this battle is when you start to concede defeat. YOU WILL DO THIS!! KEEP ON KEEPIN ON. We have full faith in you. But please be safe. Like Xasmin said.. we love having you here. Words like "cleanse" frigten me. Just be very careful. :)

  5. I am just catching up from a couple of days out of town. Its nice to have a plan.....


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