Thursday, December 31, 2009

Day 6: My Food Boyfriend

Today's Weight:  205.6
Yesterday's:        206.6
LOSS:                  1 pound

Total Loss:          7 pounds

When it's good, then it's good, it's so good til it goes bad
Til you're trying to find the one that you once had
I have heard myself cry 'never again'
Broken down in agony, just tryin' find a friend, oh oh

I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside, you're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I've often compared my relationship with food as a bad boyfriend that I just can't leave.  I know he's bad for me and I try to quit, and I do for a little while and then I start meeting him in secret places for a rendezvous.   I kind of feel like I'm in food rehab right now and my boyfriend is outside waiting for a chance to meet with me.  Oh, and he talks to me through the TV.

I feel like i'm really ready to break up with my food boyfriend and only see him occasionally.  He can't be a regular part of my life anymore.  And my husband can't see him anymore either.  This threesome is over.

I have to tell you...I've been pinning a little bit for the foods that I probably shouldn't have anymore.  Remember that Mushroom Burger from Red Robin that I talked about a few weeks ago?  I'm trying to figure out if there is any place in my life for that stuff anymore or if I should never eat it again.

The thing is...I don't want to be a healthy food nut.  I still want to enjoy a glass of wine, pizza and going out to eat.  I love food!  But I also think perhaps....these things should be the exception and not the rule.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

hCG Diet: VLCD Day 5

Today's Weight:  206.6
Yesterday's:        207.6
1 pound
Total Loss:          6 pounds

WOOT!  I was pretty happy to see that this morning after the day I had.  It took me all day and about a gallon of water to feel better and by the time I did...I was ready for bed.

I did read a bunch of blogs yesterday and found several people that felt foggy for a few days.  I suppose I shouldn't be surprised because this is a drastic change for my body and it's probably freaking out.

Another thing I'm struggling with....irritability.  I am a big fat ball of crabby right now and I hope that side effect goes away really soon.  Based on what I read....that's to be expected too.
My poor husband.....

Less serious side effects may include:

• headache;
• feeling restless or irritable;
• mild swelling or water weight gain;
• depression;
• breast tenderness or swelling; or
• pain, swelling, or irritation where the injection is given.

The good news is that I woke up at 5:30am...rested and feeling really good!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

hCG Diet: VLCD Day 4

Yesterday....was hard.

My husband is working from home this week so the whole family went to the store together so that he could take a little break.  I brought home some fresh shrimp to eat for my dinner and picked up a couple onions and some strawberries.  And I got a Lobster Tail for Thursday night's dinner.

We came home to a huge mess.  I had left my sister's dog in the house because it was freezing outside and he went crazy.  He ate bread out of the pantry and pulled the kid's sippy cups out of the sink and chewed them up.  But he was no where to be found.....

I finally found him in my daughter's room.  He had shut the door on himself because he was investigating a bag of dirty diapers on the back of the door and then he pawed at the blinds and broke them.  Wooden blinds....expensive wooded  blinds.  He also destroyed Mallory's purple butterfly....she was devastated.

This made me stressed.  My children were crying, my husband was mad and I was trying to clean up the mess.  And I wanted chocolate and a soda in a really bad way.

Of course, I couldn't and didn't indulge but I realized what a stress eater I am and that this is one of the things I need to work on.

My shrimp was delicious!

I slept like a rock last night...9 and a half hours.  I rarely get more than 7 so this was amazing.  But when I got up, I felt arms and legs felt heavy and I was light headed.  I almost passed out in the kitchen and had to go sit down.

I discussed my symptoms with my husband and decided that I should eat my apple.  It's been 30 minutes and I feel much head is still a little foggy but that's normal for me.  :)

I think until my body gets used to this....I should be eating my apple in the morning....I had no idea I had low blood sugar issues.

And now...for the numbers!

I lost .8 pounds!

And that's not all!

Waist:             36       in..........35     in      1 inch
Hips:               45       in..........43.5  in      1.5 inches
(*)(*)              41       in..........40.5  in      .5 inches
Upper Thigh: 21.75 in......... 21      in     .75 inches
Lower Thigh: 20.25 in.........19.75 in     .5 inches
Calf:                17.25 in.........17       in     .25 inches
Bicep:             12.75 in.........12.25  in     .5 inches

Not too bad for less than a week!

Monday, December 28, 2009

hCG Diet: VLCD Day 3

Hunger Pains....I'm thinking it's entirely possible that I have no idea what it feels like to be hungry.  Have I really ever allowed my stomach to be empty for long?  Judging from urges to want to munch all day and my lack of willpower in the past, I think it's true.

The major feeling that people deal with in the first few days of Phase 2 is a feeling of emptiness in their stomachs. This is quite different than hunger pains. Weighing yourself daily and seeing the spectacular results will keep your motivation high, allowing you to overcome any short-term hunger.
I read that this could go on for 7-10 days.....

This brings me to one of my goals for me and my family.  Smaller portions!  We'd done this before but dear husband has returned to going back for seconds and sometimes.....thirds.  And eating what the kids don't eat.  I'm on the lookout for smaller dinner plates.....

Okay, so I weighed this morning and I only lost .4 pounds.

But....I'm having one little problem that only fiber can cure...if you know what I mean.  I have instructed my nursemaid (Bobbi) to talk to Cindi about it and tell me what to do.  I also think I might have eaten one too many melba toasts yesterday.  DAMN THE MELBA TOAST!

Side Note: I haven't needed TUMS in two days.  And I slept well last night, waking very refreshed but I had a headache.  I normally wake up feeling like I need more sleep....this is amazing!

Tomorrow....I'm taking measurements.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

hCG Diet: VLCD Day 2

All night...I dreamt that I needed to weigh myself but I couldn't get to my scale.  There were ton's of people in my house that needed things from me and every time I tried to run upstairs to my brand new Biggest Loser Scale...I was prevented.

But then I woke up and found that I lost......3.8 pounds!

I was so excited!  I'm also quite happy that I was able to sleep last night.  I had to get up 5 times to use the bathroom and one time to re-dress my son but I was able to go back to sleep and even slept in until 7:15am.

Yesterday, my newly pregnant friend sent me a text and said she was up all night peeing too. And that it's almost like we're pregnant together.  I told her 'Yeah we are...except I'm having a Food Baby'!

I thought you might like to see what I have to chose from in my menu.  Luckily, I like most all of the choices and I think I should be able to mix them up a little.  I just keep thinking...What Would Martha Do?

Yesterday, I was so hungry that I ate one of my melba toasts with my coffee.  And I'm thinking I might have to eat my fruit as between meal snacks until I get used to not grazing through the day.

• For breakfast have only:

— black coffee, organic green, black and white much as you want.

• For lunch eat 100 grams (weighed raw) of grilled (no oil or fat):

— organic beef or veal, or
— organic chicken breast (skinless), or
— wild Chilean sea bass, or
— flounder, or
— sole, or talpia or halibut
— lobster, crap or shrimp

 One large handful of one of the following organic vegetables:

— Spinach
— Chard
— Beet greens
— Lettuces of any kind
— Tomatoes
— Celery
— Fennel
— White, yellow, or red onions
— Red radishes
— Cucumbers
— Asparagus, or
— Cabbage

These can be eaten raw, steamed, grilled (without oil), or gently boiled. Do mix vegetables in the same meal.

• One small organic apple, or small organic grapefruit or orange, or a handful of organic strawberries.

• You may season any of the food with the juice of half an organic lemon, white or black pepper, organic raw apple cider vinegar, sea salt, organic garlic, organic basil, organic parsley, organic thyme, organic marjoram, or any other organic herb. Absolutely no oil, butter, dressings, or anything else!

Two Melba Toasts or Grissino Bread Sticks.

— The same choices as for lunch. Do not, however, have two meals exactly the same in the same day.

You may also find this interesting....I can't wear my regular make-up or use my regular soap and shampoo because they contain oils and chemicals that mess up the rate of weight loss.

So....I'm going to be looking pretty bad for a while because I really don't want to buy a bunch of crazy organic products. I have approved soap and toothpaste.   I think I'll be staying home for a month!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

hCG Diet: VLCD Day 1

I'm currently doing a brand new round of hCG, click HERE to follow along.

VLCD = Very Low Calorie Diet

Hey everyone!  I made it through my second load day but I don't feel like I really loaded very well.  I tried to eat as much as I could but I was never really stuffed....not the way fast food makes you feel.  Hopefully, that won't be a problem in the next few days.

One problem I'm having sleep.  My newly faux pregnant body is getting me up to pee every two hours and I'm one of those people that can't go back to sleep if she's awoken in the night.  So...I've been awake since 4am.  I think I only got about 4.5 hours of sleep.  Sleep is very important on this program.  This might call for some Ambien and some Depends.

I finally got up at 5am and decided that laying there thinking about how I couldn't eat until lunch time wasn't going to help me go back to sleep and there were many other things I could be doing like....drinking my precious coffee without cream or planning my goals for 2010.

In other news....Bobbi was supposed to be doing this with me....but she's not.  So I've asked her to hide her soda's and snacks in her room.  And I'm going to stick all this leftover candy down there too.

In preparation for this, I cooked up a bunch of tasty meals and stashed them in the freezer so my husband won't starve to death.  I didn't really want to be cooking for him and then eat my little meals so I thought that was the best plan.  Plus, he's told me that he can fend for himself.  This is great news because I didn't think he could.  :)

5:44am....I think I'm hungry.  It's probably just my brain telling my stomach that I won't be eating for a while.  I'm sure it's psychological.  And it's one of the things I'm planning to work on in the next 37 days.

5:00pm...Wow! Today was harder than I thought it would be.  I'm pretty sure I've been going through food/sugar withdrawals all day.  Once I ate my lunch I felt pretty full but soon I was feeling the urge to eat and my stomach was feeling empty again....even though only a few hours had passed.  I've also had a headache that wasn't helped by my attempt at a nap on the couch.

I think I might have to use my two fruit portions as snacks until I get used to not snacking all day.  And I'm having trouble finishing all of this water.

say goodbye to my little friends.....

My lunch!

I'm anxious to see what the scale says tomorrow......

Friday, December 25, 2009

hCG Diet: Load Day # 2

My first load day went well....I think. I ate 1100 calories and 72 g of fat from McDonalds for breakfast and then had a Chicken and Black Bean Burrito from Taco Time for Lunch.  Calvin made Chinese Food for dinner and one of the items was deep fried in Peanut Oil.  I had wine, eggnog and cookies.  Oh, and my doctor Cindi, sent home a box of chocolates for me.  LOL!

I was miserable! And I gained 2.8 pounds.

Today, I will have to really work to get in all my fat and calories since I can't eat fast food (closed for Christmas).  I'm going to make some Gruyere Gougeres this morning and we're having a turkey with all of the fixings for dinner.

Then...tomorrow morning....all of the bad food goes in the trash!  Goodbye forever!

Here are my before pictures....I will never look like this again.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

My Last Day as a Fat Mommy

I had my first appointment with Cindi Duncan at Wade Laser Clinic in Bountiful, Utah yesterday.  My sister is her medical assistant so I'm excited to be working with both of them.  Plus, Bobbi lives with me and will be giving me all of my injections.

Bobbi started off by having me stand on a special scale and hold some handgrips.  I'm not pleased with the results and am more committed than ever to make this work.  Here's what she came up with for me.

Weight................... 216.6 pounds
Body fat percent.... 46.7%
metabolic age......... 88
Waist..................... 38 1/4" (over my clothes)
Hips........................ 48" (over my clothes)
BMI........................ 33

Did you see that? My body is functioning as an 88 year old woman! No wonder I feel like this.  Cindi and I went over the protocol and she gave me a list of vitamins to take and then I was off to the pharmacy to get my hormones.  And then I ate a burger.

Today is my first load day.  Bobbi gave me my first injection and I'm planning a trip to Mc Donald's for a fattening breakfast burrito and some hash browns.  Later, I'll be eating movie popcorn and our Christmas Eve meal will be Chinese Food made by my husband.  Followed by some ice cream.  I hope I can eat it all!

In other news...Gold's Gym called me yesterday and I'm being considered to win the Gift of Fitness...but I might not because I'm doing the hCG Protocol.  They want to gift someone that can do it naturally and without the assistance of a doctor and I totally understand.  I'm just so happy that I was considered and feel so blessed by all of you that nominated me.  Either way, I think eventually I will be a member of Gold's Gym and will finally be a FIT MOMMY!

That is my ultimate goal afterall......

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Weigh-In Time computer is broken.  I have limited access to my husband's laptop so I feel sooo behind!  I have an iPhone but I find it impossible to comment from it.  In the meantime, I'm doing lots of reading and that makes me so happy!

I want to thank you guys for all of the wonderful nominations for the gym membership.  Many of you shared your emails with me and they made me cry!  Thank you so much for your support and for being such wonderful friends.  I love you!

The good news is that I'm back down to 206!  YAY!  I'm hoping to be 205 when I start my hCG protocol next week.  That's right!  I start one week from today...on Christmas Eve.  I'm so excited and spent hours making a menu out of 10 ingredients.  LOL!  I'll explain more about that later.

Until then...I'm soaking up all of the info I can, writing tips and product recommendations into my little notebook.  Looking for recipes and printing them out.  I want to be totally prepared!

Monday, December 14, 2009

A Good Deed...Please!

Thanks to Fit Mommy's advice...I talked to Calvin and told him that I wanted us to workout together a couple times a week. He agreed and told me that we should do it on Tuesday and Thursdays and then one weekend day.


So Thursday arrives and I'm excited for him to come home so we can do this thing. I even prepared a fairly healthy casserole thing that I would put in the oven to cook while we are working out and it would be ready when we're done.

And then he called me and said...I'm going to be very late.


When my sister got home, I threw the casserole thing into the oven and I spent 20 minutes on the elliptical. YAY ME!

I could have just blew it off but I really want to do this!

So...yesterday in my local paper I saw that my local Gold's Gym (the one I wanted to join) is giving away the Gift of Fitness! They are giving away TWO gym memberships and 18 sessions with a personal trainer.  I want to win this soooo badly.

But I need your help.  I need to be nominated and a panel of judges has to PICK ME! Please do a good deed this holiday season and email and tell them how important it is that I (Connie Weiss) win this.  Deadline to nominate me is December 21st!

Thank you for your support on my journey to fitness!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Why Are You Fat? Part 2

I'm interrupting our regularly scheduled Friday Fashion Motivation for a very important message. 

I'm recently made a vow to stop eating all fast food (except Subway) because of the horrible fat and calories that the food contains.  It's not good for me OR my kids so I'm not going to eat it anymore.

I hadn't given much thought to regular sit-down restaurant food...since we don't go to those places much anymore.  But after reading Christy's post about the way restaurants are preparing food...I have to extend my ban to them too.  Go read Christy's post.  It's eye opening!

When we do eat out with the's generally Chili's or Red Robin.  I went to their websites and checked out the nutritional info and about fell out of my chair.

Cajun Chicken Pasta
1340   Calories
68 g    Fat
37 g    Sat Fat
106 g  Carbs
67 g    Protein

This is my favorite meal....and I usually eat half and bring the other half home....but still.

My kids meals from Chili's made me sad.  Sad that I'm feeding them this food and isn't good for them.

Kid's Pizza 
560    Calories
24 g    Fat
9 g      Sat Fat
67 g    Carbs
23  g   Protein

Kid's Mac and Cheese
500     Calories
18 g    Fat
6 g      Sat Fat
69 g    Carbs
16 g    Protein

We love Red Robin because they are child friendly!  My kids have never had a melt down in this restaurant....and I think it's because they're in a fat coma while we're there.


What Mama likes.  Oh My Heck!

I know lots of people that eat out a couple times a week because they don't like to cook but this is KILLING us people!  Christy suggested that if you eat at these places on a regular start to crave the extra fat and their food.  And I think she's right!

When we've had a bad week and have found ourselves eating a lot of fast food and at restaurants, or when we're on vacation....we crave this food when we get home.

I'm putting a stop to this right now!  At the very least...when you go to restaurants...ask for the nutritional information so that you can made an INFORMED choice for you and your family. And if they don't provide it...make a stink!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

No Gym for Old Men

I'm frustrated.

Hubby has decided that we can't afford to join the gym.  *Sigh*

I was really looking forward to us doing this together.  Supporting and motivating each other.  Holding each other accountable.

He keeps saying that he needs to *do something* but something never happens.  And then on Monday, we went in for our flu shots and he had his blood pressure checked.  It was high.  High enough that the doctor was concerned.

We do have the gym equipment in our elliptical and a weight machine.  But we can't use them at the same time.

My thought was if we committed to working out at the gym, making appointments to do it....we would be successful.  My concern is if we just decide to use our home's too easy to let the pull of the TV and the kids keep us from working out.

Do you have any tips for me?  On how to motivate my husband? 

Because of this development...I made a plan for myself.  I'm going to work out in the mornings, before my husband leaves for work.  If I do it first thing and get it over with...I don't have an excuse.

I was so motivated this week by MizFit and her mantra of home is where the health is.  It's looking like I don't have a choice but to make this MY mantra.

Work out in my home gym 5 days a week.

No fast food (except Subway).

Quit the soda again......

No Sweets in the house. (this is hubby's new rule)

Less TV ...more reading
Shut Computer Off at 6pm

The Biggest Loser Season 8

I watched the finale with my husband and sister last night and we were so excited that  Danny Cahill won.  I had a crush on Rudy...and would have been equally happy if he had won. 

I was amazed how well many of the contestants did.  I was blown away by Tracey and Rebekka.  And I actually thought they looked a little too thin.

What did you think?  Are you happy with the winner?  Are you excited for the next installment that begins on Jan 5?

Monday, December 7, 2009

hCG Diet: The Skinny (pun intended)

I'm not naive.  I don't think the hCG diet protocol is going to be a magic shot that will solve all of my weight loss problems.

I've also read all of the information about the protocol 3 times so that I completely understand how it works before I made my decision to do it.  Furthermore, I'm going to be under the care of a physician that I trust.

And one reason that I understand what will happen is because I've experienced it first hand when I was pregnant. 
hCG weight loss studies have shown that weight lost following the Simeons protocol comes directly from adipose fat tissue rather than lean muscle.  In doing so, the weight lost comes directly from fat and does not strip the body of much needed muscle, vitamins or minerals essential to maintain good health, while at the same time, releasing excessive amounts of fat-stored nutrients into the blood stream to be absorbed by the body.  For this reason, hCG dieters report a feeling and appearance of great health and marvel at the loss of negative health risks they had as an overweight individual. 

Another benefit that I'm excited about is this diet's ability to reset the hypothalamus. I feel like my body has been stuck at a set weight that I can't get past.
hCG diet shots cause your hypothalamus to mobilize the fat out of the fat storage locations so that it’s available for use.  While you are only consuming 500 calories, your hypothalamus is continually releasing the fat stored in your body.  Because of this, your body is actually operating on thousands of calories a day.  The result is your body using thousands of calories of fat from your body each day, the reason hCG dieters lose 1 to 2 lbs of fat or more, per day. 
And, of course.... I have a plan! I'm not just going to sit back and watch the pounds drop away.  I've convinced my husband to join the gym and we are going to work out together several times a week.  So, while I'm training my body with exercise and getting into that habit.  I will also be re-training myself to eat healthier.  That ball has already been rolling for a while now.....

Friday, December 4, 2009

Friday Fashion Motivation: Guess Jeans

When I was reading my old journals this week...I came across my New Year's Resolutions for January 1988.

1. Lose 20 pounds
2. Get a Job
3. Decide what to do with my life
4. Try to control my temper
5. Write in Journal more
6. Stop watching The Young and The Restless
7. Cut back sugar
8. Drink more water
9. Buy a pair of Guess Jeans

I didn't even remember that I wanted those jeans! So that's my ULTIMATE GOAL. To buy and wear Guess Jeans. I like these:


What's your motivation this week?

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Why Are You Fat?

During this season of The Biggest Loser, I've noticed more than ever before that they are talking about why.


It's always been a question on my mind and I've always wanted to really get to the root of the problem.  I know that there are things in my childhood that I can contribute to my quest to fed my emotions.  I'm surrounded by people that like to make up fake excuses for everything and I don't want to do that.  I want to know why I do this and figure out how to get past it.  On my Young and Relentless blog, I post my teenagehood diary entires every month and in the back of one of these journals I recorded my measurements and weight for about a year.

I noticed that I started out at a healthy weight....and then over a few months after I turned 17, I gained 30 pounds.  Luckily, I have these journals and an almost daily record of what was going on in my life to try to figure out what happened.

 After spending a great deal of time reading....I had two conclusions.  A Boy and All-You-Can-Eat Spaghetti were the problems.  I had started dating a boy who was very controlling and who I wasn't sure I wanted to be with.  I kept going back to him and let him take my power away (among other things) ....and he changed me. Around the same time, my Dad was hurt in an accident and I started having migraines.  I also frequented a local italian place on Monday nights and I remember having eating contests with my girlfriends.  And then there were the hidden boxes of Butter Cookies in my room. Oh my!

I started thinking about all of my failed relationships and their impact on my weight.  When I'm single....I'm thinner and I take care of myself.  When I'm in a relationship....I put on weight and deal with my emotions with food.  Do I exchange food for the love I want?

It was like a huge lightbulb went off in my head! I can't believe it took me 22 years to figure this all out.  When I'm with a man...he comes first and I neglect myself.  And now that I have a family...everyone comes before me.  When I think about doing something for myself....I feel guilty.

It's high time that Connie learned to take care of herself!  This foolishness has gone on long enough!

Have you figured out why you're fat?  What can you do to change it?