Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Why Are You Fat?

During this season of The Biggest Loser, I've noticed more than ever before that they are talking about why.

WHY ARE YOU FAT?

It's always been a question on my mind and I've always wanted to really get to the root of the problem.  I know that there are things in my childhood that I can contribute to my quest to fed my emotions.  I'm surrounded by people that like to make up fake excuses for everything and I don't want to do that.  I want to know why I do this and figure out how to get past it.  On my Young and Relentless blog, I post my teenagehood diary entires every month and in the back of one of these journals I recorded my measurements and weight for about a year.

I noticed that I started out at a healthy weight....and then over a few months after I turned 17, I gained 30 pounds.  Luckily, I have these journals and an almost daily record of what was going on in my life to try to figure out what happened.

 After spending a great deal of time reading....I had two conclusions.  A Boy and All-You-Can-Eat Spaghetti were the problems.  I had started dating a boy who was very controlling and who I wasn't sure I wanted to be with.  I kept going back to him and let him take my power away (among other things) ....and he changed me. Around the same time, my Dad was hurt in an accident and I started having migraines.  I also frequented a local italian place on Monday nights and I remember having eating contests with my girlfriends.  And then there were the hidden boxes of Butter Cookies in my room. Oh my!

I started thinking about all of my failed relationships and their impact on my weight.  When I'm single....I'm thinner and I take care of myself.  When I'm in a relationship....I put on weight and deal with my emotions with food.  Do I exchange food for the love I want?

It was like a huge lightbulb went off in my head! I can't believe it took me 22 years to figure this all out.  When I'm with a man...he comes first and I neglect myself.  And now that I have a family...everyone comes before me.  When I think about doing something for myself....I feel guilty.

It's high time that Connie learned to take care of herself!  This foolishness has gone on long enough!

Have you figured out why you're fat?  What can you do to change it?

5 comments:

  1. I am not active enough and I love to eat (mostly sweet stuff). And I am an extreme person; if I really like something I REALLY like something. So I think I get the over-eating thing there, I mean why just eat 2 delicious cookies when you can eat them until you are full? I don't have a lot of self control with food. I don't know if there is a pyschological reason behind my over-indulging, but a lot of it with me is boredom and the fact that I have a pretty boring life. I don't go out much, don't have exciting hobbies, etc, and eating (or going out to eat) is like entertainment, sort of.

    Maybe I need to get a regular hobby, huh? Besides baking. And eating.

    Although never skinny, I had a god figure until right before I got pregnant with my 1st. I was 20 lbs overweight then and it's been downhill ever since. I think I am really going to do it this time, though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is so great that you have figured it out. I have figured out mine too....just need to keep it in the forefront of my mind.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That is exactly the same thing for me. It all started with depression over boy troubles and loneliness. And now taking care of my kids and hubs has been deemed more important (only by me) than taking care of me. You hit it right on the head for me, and it is about time I started putting me first.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The first time I gained (and that wasn't much about 8 lbs) I just started living together and I was home alone a lot because my hub had to work a lot and wasn't home very often. I was bored.

    The second time is 10 years ago next year and I gained about 32 lbs because my Dad died. I put all my grief into eating. I've been trying to get it off for the last 10 years and this year I'm finally making progress.

    You should take some time just for you if that's possible. Even if it's just 1 hour a week but spend that hour any way you like it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I know you posted this over a month ago, but I just found this blog and was trying to go back and see what you were doing. What a great revelation! We mommies do put everyone else first, and then we don't realize that by putting ourselves last, we are not able to provide for everyone else as well. I hope we both find ways to take care of ourselves and NOT feel guilty about it! (I'm still working on that one)

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for commenting. I love getting feedback and making new friends! Your support is much appreciated!