Starting Weight: 187
Yesterday's Weight: 185.6
Todays Weight: 185
Released: .6 poundsThank you everyone that commented yesterday and gave me your thoughts on what a normal weight should be. You're right...it's different for everyone.
I did end up discussing it with my husband (against my better judgement) and he wants me to lose another 10 pounds. I kind of figured that's what he was going to say because all of his previous girlfriends (BC...Before Connie) were thin and beautiful. *Connie Rolls Her Eyes*
Thinking about body image and self-esteem leaves me with a pit in my stomach because I grew up with a father that never thought I was thin enough and threatened to divorce my Mom if she didn't lose weight. I watched her struggle with her weight and go on diet after diet.
I don't want my daughter to ever feel the way I did or witness this kind of behavior. It's so important to me that the mistakes of my childhood never be repeated and it feels sometimes like I'm the only one that prevent that. I'm like Smokey Bear and ONLY I can prevent forest fires. Son of a Pelosi! Being a Mom is exhausting!
Anyway, thanks for listening. I guess I need to go work on my Stepford Wife Transformation.....
I think the 10lbs thing is a good idea actually. It's what I plan to do when I'm at goal weight. I'll consider that 10 my "buffer weight". Think of how easy it is to fluctuate 5lbs up or down? If I am barely at "thin for me" and then put on 5 or 10 (which I can practically do overnight if I am not careful) then I'll be overweight again before I know it. So that 10 will be my safeguard.
ReplyDeleteThat's so sad that your dad was that way about weight. Men think its' sooo easy to stay skinny.... they just don't get it.
Honey, honey, honey. I'm sorry for your twisty, icky feelings. You're GORGEOUS! You're a WONDERFUL mother! You're SMART and FUNNY and DISCIPLINED and REAL!
ReplyDeleteI read your post yesterday and totally hear you. You'll figure out what's best and healthiest for you as far as the number on the scale.
You'll teach your daughter to make healthy well-balanced food choices and enjoy treats on occasion. We know more now than we did as young girls, and certainly more than our parents did. Your little girl will be healthy and pretty [just like her Mama] regardless of how curvy she is when she grows up. Hugs to you, my friend.
Ditto everything Chris said!
ReplyDeleteMy mom has been overweight her whole life, and my dad has always been 'normal' and active. He used to get on her about her weight, and she ate for comfort (something she picked up in childhood from her parents who'd give her a cookie to make her feel better about something.) My sisters and I are all within a 'normal' range for our height but it's something we're all aware of. Mom tried dieting off and on, but she just really has unhealthy eating habits and never learned to change it.
You will find a healthy weight for yourself & hopefully exercise and eat well. And maybe stop telling Calvin what your 'number' is :)
Connie, I have never commented here before but I feel the need! You are such an inspiration to me and others! I hope you continue to work toward a weight/body composition that YOU are comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me very sad to hear about husbands/fathers making comments about weight. It is not good for us or our daughters to think that personal value is directly linked to our physical appearance.
From reading you other blog, I get that impression that Calvin is a great guy. Sometimes they don't understand how much little things stick with you.
You're great! Kepp at it, as long as you want to!
You've done SO WELL on your plan thus far, so don't neglect that fact! And you are beautiful just the way you are!
ReplyDeleteAs a "round" woman, I have a different perspective on the extra 10 lbs. I don't think you should lose it for anyone but yourself.I say lose the 10 lbs for YOU and see how you feel and if you like the way look. Is it a manageable weight, are you more comfortable? In the end the 10 extra pounds you lose may not change your shape or feelings all that much, so it'll be a fun challenge.
My mom was always on a diet. Always. I think her dad and brothers teased her relentlessly as a child....I also vowed to only say positive things about myself in front of my kids.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, the other day my 4-year old goes "I don't want to eat my cookies, I need to go on a diet". My heart dropped. I have no idea why she said it, don't think she really understands it and she went on to eat her cookies...but c'mon she is 4! Did I teach her to do this? I probably flippantly said something to Mickey in front of her and she picked it up.
Again, I think you look great now, TODAY. :)