Starting Weight: 187
Yesterday's Weight: 185
Todays Weight: 184
Released: 1 poundsWhat an emotional week!
I think my daughter's birthday brought all kinds of emotions up for me and has made it hard to get my head where it needs to be to do this. The last few weeks, God has been testing me too....there is the possibility that my husband will be getting a job 5 miles from my parent's house. The parents that I'm estranged from at the moment. And I keep getting little messages about forgiveness.
He's definitely trying to tell me something.
I have all of this *stuff* crammed in a closet and when I open the door a little bit...everything comes falling out. Why can't the emotions and memories be in nice little boxes that I can open one at a time and deal with them?
If you are in a state like this...the worst thing you can do is watch Precious. I watched it yesterday during nap time and it's a heart wrenching film. I was exhausted after watching it and just so sad. One thing I did realize was that there are women out there that have had much worse things happen to them. My problems aren't that bad and I can do something about it.
But it's still ONLY ME that can prevent forest fires. Was anyone else traumatized by those ads as a child or was it just me? That's a lot of pressure to put on a kid....
Yesterday, I was worried that my hCG was no longer potent because I've been sooo hungry. Bobbi called the pharmacist and he said it should be good for 60 days. Mine is 69 days old. I did some research online and found out I could test it by putting some on a pregnancy test.
I used to buy them by the bucketfull so I went to my stash and found that I only had one left and it was a digital one. I felt silly standing around the kitchen waiting to find out if my drugs were pregnant but the good news is that we got a YES!
I thought about tricking my husband....but I didn't. He's probably have a heart attack or something.
LOL that would be a mean trick!
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen Precious, but I've heard it's very moving. It sounds like you've got a crossroads coming up... good luck. Go with your heart and you'll make the right choice.
I know those feelings of being completely overwhelmed! And then watching a movie like Precious on top of it would have tipped the scale for sure! I hope you balanced it out with something funny. :)
ReplyDeleteOMG, I totally laughed at the tricking your hubby comment! You should save the test for April 1st :) You're doing great, Connie. God's plan will reveal itself one step at a time.
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