Sunday, January 31, 2010

It's Not Stealing if it's a Sample

Today's Weight:      189.8
Yesterday's:            190.4
Released:               .6 pounds


The scale went up a little bit over the last few days....but now it's going back down again. Thank Goodness! I think my body is adjusting to me adding some foods it hasn't had in a while and these items have more sodium in them than we're used to. I expected that.

What I didn't expect is that I would feel this good. That I would be so less likely to cave in to my old ways of thinking and eating. Let me tell you a story.

Every other weekend, I do my grocery shopping and I've started bringing Bobbi with me so that I'm accountable and don't accidentally buy a donut or something.  During the protocol, I'd walk past the bakery or the cereal isle and I'd look longingly at those things and feel bad that I couldn't have them.  Yesterday...I didn't want them.

We went to Starbucks and I did my homework before we left the house and I purchased a Skinny Vanilla Latte and I liked it.  I used to drink a full fat White Chocolate Latte and the last time I had one I couldn't finish it because it was too sweet.  I was looking longingly at a Rice Crispy Dream Bar...and Bobbi bought it and ate it in front of me.

We went to a couple more stores and I was starting to get hungry.  We were trying to get all the shopping done because of the snow storm coming today (we got about 3 inches overnight) and Calvin had some errands to run too.  So I needed something quick...but fast food and low carb don't really go together do they?

One of our stops was at a grocery store that had jars of peanuts on sale and I thought I would grab something from the deli....but all they had was fried chicken and other fried breaded stuff.  I was ready to just walk away and be hungry when I saw one of those plastic domed sample trays....and it had meat and cheese in it.  I got a super dirty look from the gal working in the deli for helping myself to a couple toothpicks full of sample but I was desperate!!

And it was perfect!  Just a little bit of food...protein, and then I was able to continue my shopping without blowing my diet!  I was so proud of myself!

This insistent got me thinking and I realized that the next time I find myself needing to eat and fast food is all that is available, I can always run into a grocery store and purchase a couple slices of meat and cheese from the deli.  And it's probably a whole lot cheaper than a burger or salad.

Now...I did end up doing something that I'm not very proud of.  My Dad called Calvin last night to complain about why I don't have a relationship with him anymore and he admitted that he's drinking a pint of vodka a day....and it doesn't look he's ready to quit anytime soon but he loves and misses me and the kids.  Of course, this upset me.  He loves drinking more than he loves us and I've accepted that and it's easier for me to just not think about him.

So...I had two glasses of wine last night.  Pretty stupid right?  I'm upset about my Dad's drinking so I have a drink.  Apple doesn't fall far....

I'd only planned to have one glass but that was before....the phone call.  Two glasses effects me a lot more after protocol than it used to......

Friday, January 29, 2010

Day 1: 1st Day of the Rest of My Life

Today's Weight:      190.2
Yesterday's:            189.6
Gained:                   .6 pounds



I've been thinking.....


Most times when I say that out loud my husband backs away and tries to hide his wallet.  The problem, in his opinion is that I'm always thinking and planning and this upsets his apple cart that requires that everything stay exactly the same all the times.


If you have children and they watch The Imagination Movers...you would recognize him as the character of NitNots.  If you aren't a children's show fan, I'll explain that NitNots is boring, wears beige everyday and doesn't like things that are too exciting. 


Calvin and I are proof that opposites attract.  I'm always analyzing, critiquing and planning (he'd say scheming) and I don't often like to follow the rules...I like to blaze my own trail.


And that is why I've decided not to follow the Phase 3 protocol and to do my own thing.  This may backfire.  I've looked at this a couple different ways and discussed it with Calvin, Bobbi and Jess.  I don't want to stabilize at this weight....and I really don't want to do the hCG again...if I can help it.


To maintain my weight...the calculator says that I need to eat 1947 calories a day.  I find this to be impossible since the smaller amounts of food that I became accustom to were filling me up.  Yesterday it was difficult for me just to eat 900 calories and I was full.  You'll notice that I gained .6 pounds, well...I'm having some issues of the bathroom variety...if you know what I mean.  Coming off from the hCG is messing with my system a little bit.


I really don't want to stretch my stomach back out with huge quantities of food.  I want to eat healthy and low carb (avoiding sugar and starch) and I'm going to start my exercise program finally. 


If this backfires and the hCG has truly made it impossible to lose on my own...I will do the hCG again.  But I feel like I have to try.  I don't want to become dependent on hCG for the rest of my  life every time I gain a little weight.  


I've re-read Pounds and Inches by Dr Simeons and I can't find that he explains WHY you must do exactly what he says.  He does mention a condition called hunger-edema, where your body retains fluids because of being on the verge of protein deficiency during the diet, once normal food is re-introduced.  He talks about adequate amounts of protein to combat this condition but doesn't say what amount is adequate. 


I frequent an hCG message board and when people ask about losing weight on your own after phase 2, they are firmly told to follow the protocol as instructed in Pounds and Inches and do not deviate. When I read these posts I feel like I'm in an episode of Seinfeld and in line for the Soup Nazi.  No one can explain WHY you must follow the plan.


I have to tell you that what I did eat yesterday...agreed with me so much.  I had so much energy and I felt so good!  We even went out to dinner and I used my iPhone App Lose it to make good choices and even thought the soup I ordered at RICE in it, I avoided it and just ate the liquid.  I loved my salad which I dipped in blue cheese dressing and enjoyed a single glass of wine. I slept really well and awoke refreshed.  


It's funny really, because about 3 days ago, I completely lost my craving for sugar. I've thought about baked goods and they don't sound good.  A salad with tomatoes and blue cheese sounds good.  A slice of avocado sounds lovely.  Eggs with some cheese on top...yum!  


Is it possible I've turned a corner?  One can only hope!





Thursday, January 28, 2010

Day 34: Before and After Pictures

Today's Weight:      189.6
Yesterday's:             190.2
RELEASED:             .6 pounds
Total Released:        23 pounds 10.82%


Week One Released:        9.2 pounds 4.4 %
Week Two Released:        3 pounds 1.47%
Week Three Released:     4 pounds 2 %
Week Four Released:       3.8 pounds 1.93%
Week Five Released:       3 pounds

Wow...I'm still losing! Today...I get to eat breakfast! I'm so excited that I woke up at 3:30am thinking about it. I'm going to start off easy...a couple eggs, a small amount of cheese and a piece of canadian bacon.

I downloaded my after pictures last night and Bobbi and I were blown away by the difference. I can't wait for you all to see them too. When I showed Calvin...he said, 'WOW, you were getting really big!' Thanks honey.













Waist:             36       in......33       3 inches

Hips:               45       in......41.25  3.75 inches
(*)(*)               41       in.......39.5    1.5 inches
Upper Thigh:  21.75 in....... 20.75   1 inch
Lower Thigh:  20.25 in.......19        1.25 inches
Calf:                17.25 in.......16.5    .75 inches
Bicep:             12.75 in.......12.25     .5 inches

Overall....all of the places that I measured....a total of 15 inchs and TWO dress sizes.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Day 33: Goodbye Dr Cindi


Today's Weight:       190.2
Yesterday's:             191.2
RELEASED:               1 pound
Total Released:        22.4 pounds  10.54%


Week One Released         9.2 pounds  4.4  %
Week Two Released:       3 pounds     1.47%
Week Three Released:     4  pounds    2     %
Week Four Released:       3.8 pounds  1.93%
Week Five Released:        2.4 pounds

Today is my final appointment with Cindi. I'm going to miss her...she's wonderful! I'll be weighed and measured and hopefully that silly scale will tell me that I'm NOT 90 years old. We are also doing a full blood panel to see where I sit health wise. I'm really excited to see those numbers!

Tomorrow, I'll have updates of my measurements AND my after picture!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Day 32: End of Phase 2...Early


Today's Weight:       191.2
Yesterday's:             191.2
RELEASED:               ZERO pound
Total Released:        21.4 pounds  10.2%


Week One Released         9.2 pounds   4.4  %
Week Two Released:       3 pounds      1.4 %
Week Three Released:     4  pounds     2     %
Week Four Released:       3.8 pounds  1.8%
Week Five Released:        1.4 pounds


I have some news....yesterday was my last injection day.  Since Thursday,  I've been feeling weak, hungry and having cravings.  Then I got a migraine that won't go away.  I've discussed my symptoms with Cindi and we've decided that I should end this round early because it appears I've become immune to the hCG.

I'm bummed because I was hoping to lose another 10 pounds on this round but I'm also kind of relieved because I think a 40 shot round is too long and I just can't keep up the diet that long.  I am planning a second short round (23 shots) in a few weeks and I'm hopeful that I can get to 170 pounds.

So now, after 72 hours of continuing the Very Low Calorie Diet...the plan is to stay within 2 pounds of my last injection weight which is 191.2 pounds.  In Phase 3, I get to add in more food except for sugar and starch.  Basically an Adkins Induction type plan.

I'm looking forward to making these meals for my whole family to enjoy.  My husband is diabetic and shouldn't have many carbs and sugar anyway.

Thank you all for your support the last 34 days!  This is a tough diet and I know that I was able to do it because of you.  I hope you'll stick around through this next phase and cheer me on again in my next round.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Day 31: No Bread


Today's Weight:       191.2
Yesterday's:             192
RELEASED:               .8 pound
Total Released:        21.4 pounds  10.2%


Week One Released         9.2 pounds   4.4  %
Week Two Released:       3 pounds      1.4 %
Week Three Released:     4  pounds     2     %
Week Four Released:       3.8 pounds  1.8%
Week Five Released:        1.4 pounds




My buddy Kyle at Getting Better and Better has a great post up about being a food addict and how his emphasis on food has changed since getting healthy.  It's a must read for any food addict.

I've been struggling with this for a few days.  Food is never far from my thoughts, mainly because as the CEO of this family, at any given time....I'm either planning meals, making meals or cleaning up from meals.  I'm missing our weekly meal out because I seriously haven't had a break from cooking in 30 days.  And that makes me think about all of the food I won't be ordering anymore.  Food that has been apart of my life for years and years.  Food that I know isn't good for me.

It made me think about upcoming holiday's and birthdays and how I'm going to handle them.  Both me and Calvin grew up celebrating with food and giant cakes.  Everything  his family does is big! Big meals and portions and I'm sure it's no surprise that they are BIG people.  For my first birthday with his family...they ordered a HALF SHEET cake for 6 of us to eat.  Things have got to change....

I watched people at the food court at the mall on Saturday and I paid close attention to what they were eating.  All my favorites where there....chicken strips, burgers, shakes, fries and pizza.  I also noticed that all of these people were significantly overweight and I wondered where the skinny people were....oh yeah, she was sitting in the corner eating her grilled chicken salad without dressing.  LOL!  Did you catch that?  I just referred to myself as SKINNY!

But seriously, every time I go to the grocery store I get mad (if I was a toddler...I'd be throwing myself to the floor in a fit) about not being able to eat like I used to.  My whole life I've enjoyed food....If you asked me what things bring me joy...food would be towards the top.  The thought that I won't be able to enjoy some of these foods anymore makes me sad because my life is really pretty boring and if you take this away from me....

ON THE OTHER HAND....I feel better eating healthy CLEAN food.  I don't have heartburn or migraines anymore (going on 30 days for both of those), I'm sleeping so well and without 20 extra pounds, my knees aren't creaking.  I'm looking forward to being active with my kids and learning to ski.

I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that this protocol...is a learning process.  I'm learning to let go of the past and find a new way to be happy.  I know I will still eat some of my favorite foods but they will be few and far between.  Old habits are hard to break and I guess I'm more stubborn than I thought I was.





Tell me how I'm supposed to live with no bread

If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my bread away
Losing you is like living in a world with no carbs
Oh

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

So how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to live

[Chorus:]
Tell me how I'm supposed to live with no bread
Can't live, can't breathe with no bread
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no bread, no bread
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no bread, no bread

No bread, bread
No bread, bread
No bread, bread
No bread, bread

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my bread, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

So how do you expect me
to live alone with just veggies
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]

No bread, bread
No muffins, muffins
No naan, naan
No donuts, donuts
No more
It's no bread, no bread

EDITED:  I wrote this post yesterday morning after reading Kyle's post....four hours later I got a migraine.  And spent the rest of the day and evening in bed.  I finally got a break from cooking for my family....

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Day 30: Shopping


Today's Weight:       192
Yesterday's:             192.6
RELEASED:               .6  pound
Total Released:        20.6 pounds  9.7%


Week One Released         9.2 pounds   4.4  %
Week Two Released:       3 pounds      1.4 %
Week Three Released:     4  pounds     2     %
Week Four Released:       3.8 pounds  1.8%
Week Five Released:         .6 pounds


Good Morning Friends!  


Yesterday....was AWESOME!  I went shopping with Bobbi at the Layton Hills Mall and the most amazing thing happened.....I put on SIZE 12 jeans and they fit.  Tight....but I zipped them up and everything.  So I bought them ($9.99 at Macy's marked down from $40) and then....against all odds, I bought a SIZE 10 too.  I almost didn't buy the 10's.  I told Bobbi that I was afraid I'd be jinxing myself because I can't even remember the last time I wore a 10 (has to be high school).  But I couldn't pass up a $10 pair of jeans.....so I got them.  AND I got the cutest red top in a LARGE! 


Bobbi is a big time shopper.  Shopping with her results in knees, hips and back hurting after a short time because I'm just not used to walking and standing that much.  This time with 20 less pounds...my hips and back didn't start to hurt until about 4 hours in. And I realized that I haven't heard my knees talking to me when I go up the stairs at home.  Amazing!


I even managed to eat on plan at the food court for lunch.  I found a place that served grilled chicken salad and I had a water.  As we ate, I observed the people sitting around us...many of them overweight and eating burgers, fries, pizza and GIANT soda's.  


Have a great day...I'll be staring longingly at my SIZE 12 jeans....


Saturday, January 23, 2010

Day 29: 20 Pounds Released!


Today's Weight:       192.6
Yesterday's:             194
RELEASED:               1.4  pound
Total Released:        20 pounds  9.4%


Week One Released         9.2 pounds    4.4  %
Week Two Released:       3 pounds          1.4 %
Week Three Released:     4  pounds     2     %
Week Four Released:       3.8 pounds  1.8%



WOOT! I hit the 20 pound mark!  I have to be honest....I was hoping for more by this point.  I feel like my body is resisting me every single step of the way and my brain is in on it.  I'm been having a really hard time with the diet the last few days.  Eating the same things every day and making food for my family that I can't eat is taking it's toll on me.


I've gone from wanting to do a second round and losing as much weight as I can....to wanting to quit and be happy with this weight.  I want a sandwich so bad I can taste it! The realization that carbs are a long way off yet is frustrating to me.


But I just keep telling myself that this isn't forever and I've carried this weight for 20 years so there is NO reason why I can't make sacrifices for 49 days.  And then maybe 29 more.


Bobbi and I are going brave the snow and go to the mall today.  I'm excited to look at clothes and see what I might be able to wear in the near future.


Have a great day!


Friday, January 22, 2010

Day 28: Out with the Old

Today's Weight:    194
Yesterday's:           193
GAINED:            1  pound
Total Released:     18.6 pounds

Week One Released       9.2 pounds 4.4 %
Week Two Released:     3 pounds 1. 4 %
Week Three Released:   4 pounds 2 %
Week Four Released:     2.4 pounds

CRAP!  I think I'm retaining water for some reason because I had trouble taking my wedding ring off to weigh in.

In other news...I tried on every stitch of clothing I own last night and filled another box with *too big* items.  I also found a couple things I had bought in the hope that I would someday fit into them and a couple shirts can be altered to whatever size I end up being.


The one thing I still don't fit into....THE capri pants that I wore the day I met Calvin.  They are really tight, so even though I weigh less than the day I met him...my body has changed (thanks Alex and Mallory).

Here's a photo of me in my SIZE 14 jeans!


Thursday, January 21, 2010

Day 27: GoodBye Size 16

Today's Weight:    193
Yesterday's:           194.4
RELEASED:        -1.4  pounds
Total Released:     19.6 pounds

Week One Released       9.2 pounds 4.4 %
Week Two Released:     3 pounds 1. 4 %
Week Three Released:   4 pounds 2 %
Week Four Released:     3.4 pounds

I have somewhere to go today.  My friend Shannon invited me and my kids to Story Time at the Library so that means I had to actually put real clothes on.  I went to my closet, pulled out my favorite pants and...they were way too big.  I took all five pairs of pants out and tried them all on....the size 14 pants that I bought two years ago FIT ME!

I woke up my husband because I was so excited and he looked excited too....for about 30 seconds until his wallet caught up with his brain and he realized that this is eventually going to cost him money.

Then I put on my favorite sweater that I bought at Christmas....it's big...there's a big gap in the chest area!

I was feeling really down and bored with this diet yesterday...I'm sick of the food and water and not being able to eat what everyone else is eating.  I only have 19 days left....I can do it!

GOODBYE Size 16!!

GOODBYE Favorite Jeans!!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Day 26: Stomach...don't fail me now!

Today's Weight:    194.4
Yesterday's:           195.2
RELEASED:      -.8 pounds
Total Released:     18.2pounds

Week One Released       9.2 pounds 4.4 %
Week Two Released:     3 pounds 1. 4 %
Week Three Released:   4 pounds 2 %
Week Four Released:     2 pounds

I had a rough day yesterday! Around 2pm, I started getting really bad stomach cramps...by dinner time there was no way I was interested in eating the cod I had thawed out for dinner and all of my usual comfort foods were not on plan.  I thought maybe my stomach was turning on me....this diet is the worst thing to do if you are sick. 


I ended up just eating some strawberries and drinking some tea. I feel great this morning so it must have just been a temporary bug or that apple cider vinegar I drank yesterday didn't agree with me.

I'm off to do my exercises.....

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Day 25: A Vlog

Today's Weight:    195.2
Yesterday's:           195.6
RELEASED:     -.4 pounds
Total Released:    17.4 pounds

Week One Released       9.2 pounds 4.4 %
Week Two Released:     3 pounds 1. 4 %
Week Three Released:   4 pounds 2 %
Week Four Released:     1.2 pounds

That's kind of disappointing.  But I didn't drink all of my water yesterday....today will be better!  Today...a little vlog of my last two dr appointments.  I did end up going yesterday because the roads improved and the sun was actually shining in Bountiful!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Day 24:

Today's Weight:    195.4
Yesterday's:           196
RELEASED:        -.4 pounds
Total Released:      17 pounds

Week One Released      9.2 pounds   4.4  %
Week Two Released:    3 pounds      1. 4 %
Week Three Released:  4 pounds      2     %
Week Four Released:    .8 pounds

Hey everyone! I don't have much to say today...I know weird right!  I go see Dr. Cindi today but I'm not excited because it's snowing and it's a 45 mile drive and I don't like to drive in snow even though I drive a giant SUV (I'm a Republican, we're required to drive them). I just checked it's only 23 degrees.  The good thing is that it's a holiday and all the crazy people should be at home.

P.S. Bobbi quit the diet...she's eating cereal in front of me.

EDITED: Due to multiple accidents and a text from my husband that the roads are terrible....I'm not going to the doctor today.   

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Day 23: Thinking Ahead

Today's Weight:    196
Yesterday's:           196.4
RELEASED:        -.4 pounds
Total Released:      16.6 pounds

Week One Released      9.2 pounds   4.4  %
Week Two Released:    3 pounds      1. 4 %
Week Three Released:  4 pounds      2     %
Week Four Released:    .4 pounds

Another small loss.  I learned something this weekend while lurking on a the hCG Yahoo Group message board.  The weight that I get to with this diet will be my weight unless I do this again.  I had planned to continue after this with exercise and watching what I eat but apparently, I really will be resetting my hypothalamus and it will be not be possible to get below that weight.  So...if I only get down to 175 and I really want to be 150, I will have to go through all of this again.


I'm a planner so I immediately got out my day planner and started counting....and if I did this again.  I could do a short round (23 days), load on my daughter's birthday (cake baby) and be done by my son's birthday.  I can't believe that I'm already thinking ahead to the next round but I guess it is a testament to how easy it's become for me.


What isn't easy?  Cooking cheese enchiladas for my family and then watching my daughter push them away.  You should have seen me and Bobbi eyeballing that cheese.....


P.S. Bobbi lost nothing again yesterday.  I think the reason is that she hasn't been overweight very long (2 years) and she doesn't have the abnormal fat that people that have been overweight for many years have.  That is what the hCG draws from...the abnormal fat...like on my @ss.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Day 22: Goodbye Obesity!

Today's Weight:    196.4
Yesterday's:           197.6
RELEASED:        -1.2 pounds
Total Released:      16.2 pounds

Week One Released      9.2 pounds   4.4  %
Week Two Released:    3 pounds      1. 4 %
Week Three Released:  4 pounds      2     %

Another Milestone: I'm no longer OBESE!  My BMI is 29.9....and I'm thrilled!  It's so exciting to look in the mirror and see myself getting smaller....and my clothes are hanging off from me.

Waist:          36    in.......34 in         2 inches
Hips:            45    in.......41.75 in    3.25 inches
(*)(*)            41    in........40 in        1 inches
Up Thigh:     21.75 in...... 21 in         .75 inch
Lw Thigh:     20.25 in......19.25 in      1 inch
Calf:            17.25 in......16.75 in        .5 inches
Bicep:          12.75 in......12.25 in       .5 inches


Bobbi and I made this chili the other night and it was so good and flavorful that I can't wait to make it again!

Awesome Kick Ass Chili 
  • 3.5 oz Ground Veal
  • 1 cup chopped Tomatoes
  • 1 1/2 cups water
  • 1 tbsp Apple Cider Vinegar
  • Onion Powder to taste
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • 2 tsp Chili powder (DIVIDED)
  • 2 large dashes of Hot Sauce (DIVIDED)
  • Dash of Cayenne Pepper
  • Salt and Pepper to taste

In a skillet, brown the veal.  

In a small saucepan, add 1 cup tomatoes, apple cider vinegar, onion powder, minced garlic, 1 tbsp chili powder and large dash of hot sauce, and salt and pepper to taste.  Bring to a boil to cook tomatoes down.  Adjust seasoning to taste and add water if you want to get consistency you want. 

When the veal is finished cooking, add 1 cup of water, 1 Tbsp Chili Powder and large dash of hot sauce.  Bring to a boil and then add the tomato mixture.  Cook for a few minutes.  

You can also make this with chicken or ground beef.  YUM! 

Friday, January 15, 2010

Day 21: If Living Is Without You

Today's Weight:    197.6
Yesterday's:           198
RELEASED:        -.4 pounds
Total Released:      15 pounds

Week One Released      9.2 pounds 4.4 %
Week Two Released:    3 pounds 1.4%
Week Three Released:  2.8 pounds


I know that Chris is patiently waiting for today's update...but I managed to sleep in a little bit this morning.  This rarely happens anymore...I've been wide away at 5:30am most days.  I didn't go to see Dr. Cindi yesterday....my daughter woke up sick so I've rescheduled to Monday.

I thought about chocolate all day yesterday.  I thought about how many days until I could have some again. (47) and I thought about what I was going to do about it when this is over and I have to maintain my weight.  I decided that I can't live without it.  But I won't eat so much....then I heard this song on the radio.


I can't live if living is without you
I can't live, I can't give any more
Can't live if living is without you
I can't give, I can't give any more






Coming tomorrow....Week Three totals and measurements, and a yummy Veal Chili that Bobbi made for me.

P.S. After three days of NO loss...Bobbi lost 3 pounds this morning.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Day 20: Like an Old Lady

Today's Weight:    198
Yesterday's:           198.8
RELEASED:          -.8 pounds
Total Released:      14.6 pounds

Week One Released:     9.2  pounds   4.4 %
Week Two Released:    3     pounds   1.4%
Week Three Released:   2.4 pounds

YAY!  Going in the right direction today!

TOM is still here...dang it.  But at least he's not stopping me from losing.  I was really stressed out yesterday and craved chocolate so badly I thought I might break.   What is it about stress that makes me crave sweets?  Is it a natural occurrence or have I trained myself to crave it?

Today is my next 10 day appointment with Cindi at Wade's Laser Clinic and I'm hoping their silly scale tells me that I'm younger than last time.  It was still saying I had the body of a very, very old woman that should be in a home for wayward seniors.  I told Bobbi to check it with a skinny person in her office and she said a 24 gal came in the other day and it was correct.  Which means I have the body of a old wayward, white haired woman.  Maybe that's why those denture and hoveround commercials are interesting to me.....

Have a great day...and thanks for sticking with me!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Day 19: Apple Day

Today's Weight:    198.8
Yesterday's:           199.6
RELEASED:          -.8 pounds
Total Released:      13.8 pounds

Week One Released:     9.2  pounds   4.4 %
Week Two Released:    3     pounds   1.4%
Week Three Released:   1.6 pounds

I did an apple day yesterday because I thought I was stalled.  .8 pound loss over three days was not acceptable to me so I wanted to take some corrective measures.   I was confused about the stall because TOM came and went without much fanfare in two days....and then, he was back last night.  I don't know if he went on a quick trip  to Park City or what.  But...he's back.

I supposed TOM could be confused by the hCG in my body and thought I was pregnant and then went and thought about it and realized that I'm not having sex.  Yeah...poor me.  I made the mistake of telling Calvin that hCG is used to treat infertility and since I'm not infertile....he won't touch me.  That's how scared he is of having another little bambino.  Which really, I can't blame him because one of the one's we have now is wrecking havoc in our home.  I'm about to call the SuperNanny.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Day 18: Two Ounces at a Time

Today's Weight:    199.6
Yesterday's:           199.8
RELEASED:          -.2 pounds
Total Released:      13 pounds

Week One Released:     9.2  pounds   4.4 %
Week Two Released:    3     pounds   1.4%
Week Three Released:    .8 pounds

Yesterday, it occurred to me that I was planning to celebrate my milestone with food.  sigh  Some habits are hard to break.  From this point forward I want to celebrate by doing not eating.  So, I sit here trying to think of some thing I could do for myself and my first thought is....a pedicure.  But it's 17 degrees and spring is a long way off so....no.  Again, my mind drifts to eating.  NO DANG IT....no going out to eat to celebate losing weight.  Jillian would have me in a head lock right now.

And then I know!  I love movies and Calvin and I are due for a date night so I've decided that I want to see a movie as my reward.  Of course it will have to be this weekend...because we have a busy TV schedule this week......

Dear Body,

I showed you didn't I.  Even though you are resisting me...I inched past that 200 mark.  I just wanted to chat with you for a minute and make it perfectly clear that holding me back is useless.  I'm a strong woman and I've been through a lot of crap and you can't defeat me.

I will win.

So just let go already and let me lose some more weight.  Because it's going to happen eventually...you might as well join me, because you can't beat me.

Love,

Connie

Monday, January 11, 2010

Day 17: At Last!!!!!!

Today's Weight:    199.8
Yesterday's:           200
RELEASED:          -.2 pounds
Total Released:      12.8  pounds

Week One Released:     9.2  pounds   4.4 %
Week Two Released:    3     pounds   1.4%
Week Three Released:    .6  pounds

AT LAST!!  
......my love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song
Oh, yeah, at last
The skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clovers
The night I looked at you


I'm so freakin happy right now!  I've broken through the wall!  I'm in Onderland! A special thanks to Jack Sh*t for that word.  Now...as soon as TOM leaves we can get back to the business of losing weight!  Yesterday, my favorite yoga pants were falling off of me.  I've never been so excited to get rid of a piece of clothing!  I also decided to pack up some of my fat clothes; Goodbye size 18!

My sister starts her VLCD today.  It's going to be a huge adjustment for her as she doesn't normally drink any water and she's met several vegetables that she doesn't like.  The good news is that she's prepared....she cooked up 5 pounds of chicken last night.  I ask her if she wanted to share her starting weight with me....and that's when I discovered that her starting weight is my goal weight.  In my defense, she's a couple inches shorter than me.

We look like a couple junkies getting our hCG fix in the morning!

Thanks again to everyone who is following me on this journey and that have sent me so many supportive messages in the last few days! I'm gonna party down with my apple and water today! And maybe to celebrate I'll get a lobster tail!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Day 16: Almost

Today's Weight:    200
Yesterday's:         200.4
RELEASED:         -.4 pounds
Total Released:      12.6  pounds

Week One Released:     9.2  pounds   4.4 %
Week Two Released:    3     pounds   1.4%
Week Three Released:    .4  pounds

ALMOST! 

I bought something at the health food store yesterday that I put on some chicken and it was awesome!  It's called Braggs Liquid Aminos All Purpose Seasoning.  It has zero calories and fat! 

This week, Kyle at Getting Better and Better talked about using cabbage instead of lettuce. Here's a recipe I tried this week that I think I'll make regularly when this is over.  I made enough for two meals and it reheated really well.

Mock Egg Roll

3.5 ounces of Chicken or Shrimp, cooked and diced
2-3 big cabbage leaves
1 cup shredded cabbage
1/8 teaspoon onion salt
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 asian spices
1/2 package stevia

Steam big cabbage leaves (cut the bottom off the cabbage for easier leaf removal) for 5 minutes.  Move leaves to the side of steamer basket to make room for shredded cabbage.  Steam both for 5 minutes.  Remove shredded cabbage to a mixing bowl...add chopped chicken or shrimp and spices.  Mix and then wrap in a big cabbage leaf. 

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Day 15: Pity Party *EDITED*

Today's Weight:    200.4
Yesterday's:         200.2
GAINED   :            .2  pounds
Total Released:      12.2 pounds

Week One Released:     9.2 pounds 4.4 %
Week Two Released     3    pounds 1.4%

EDITED:  I just discovered the cause of my .2 gain.  TOM just showed up.  Early.  At least that seems like more of a reasonable reason and also explains why I was craving chocolate like a crazy person yesterday.



I've been up against this wall before.  It's the reason I decided to do this diet to begin with because I could never get below 200 pounds.  The last time I was under was August 30, 2003....the day I met my husband.

The good news is that my sister Bobbi is finally going to do the diet with me.  She starts today so I get to watch her LOAD for the next two days.  Oh Joy!




Friday, January 8, 2010

Day 14: Letter to my Body

Today's Weight:    200.2
Yesterday's:           200.6
RELEASED:         .4 pounds
Total Released:       12.4 pounds

Week One Released:     9.2 pounds 4.4 %
Week Two Released     2.7 pounds


Are you freakin kidding me?  Excuse me while I go cry into my apple and glass of water.


Dear Body:


It's come to my attention that you really like the 200's.  I don't know why because it's not very healthy for us and this layer of fat is not very attractive.  I know we live in Utah and it's extremely freakin cold right now and you think we need this layer of fat for protection from the elements but guess what.  I own a coat and a hat and some flippin gloves.  And we have this thing called a heater and I'll crank that thing all the way up to 75 degrees if it will help motivate you to drop below the 200 mark and stay there.


That's right.  Say your goodbyes Body because as God is my witness, we will  NEVER be in the 200's again! (so help me God)


Love,


Connie

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Day 13:

Today's Weight:    200.6
Yesterday's:           200.6
RELEASE:            0 pounds
Total Release:       12 pounds

Week One Released:     9.2 pounds 4.4 %
Week Two Released     2.3 pounds

Crap.  I want to leave the 200's behind sooooo badly!  Maybe tomorrow.....

I just finished reading Ali Vincent's book Believe It, Be It.  (My copy for sale on ebay) What an inspiration she is!  I love her determination and her positive attitude.  In the book she talks about wanting to start a program to help kids (and specifically young girls) learn about health and fitness since most schools have eliminated GYM from the curriculum. As much as I hated gym class as a kid....I can't believe that it's been cut!  I'm committed to making sure my kids are active and participate in sports. I loved reading all of the behind the scenes stuff from the show!  Ali is an amazing woman and I really look up to her.

Tara Costa from The Biggest Loser 7 has encouraged her fans to find a contestant on this seasons show that you identify with and to compete with them.  I looked at all of them and Melissa is my girl!  She's 39 just like me, has two great kids and feels like she's set a bad example for them.


Melissa now.

5'6"
Start : 233 pounds

Wk 1: 214 pounds  19 pounds 8%


Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Day 12: Back on Track

Today's Weight:    200.6
Yesterday's:           202
RELEASE:            1.4 pounds
Total Release:       12 pounds

Week One Released:     9.2 pounds 4.4 %

Week Two Released     2.3 pounds

Whew! Back on track!  So...funny story.  Dr Wade, of The Wade Laser Clinic, the guy that owns the clinic I'm going to....he hates me.  He started the protocol the day before I did and I've lost a lot more weight than he has.  Every day he asks Bobbi how I'm doing and I'm doing better!  I think it's because I have a fabulous support system in the form of BLOG READERS!  Thanks again to all of you for your support!

Another funny thing, once I stopped *cooking* every single day and started making my family fend for themselves a little bit, my husband has dropped 8 pounds and my little boy is down 3! It would appear that I'm been making my family fat.  We also haven't been out to eat in over 2 weeks.

BIGGEST LOSER TALK....Don't Read, If You Haven't Watched!






Did you watch The Biggest Loser last night?  I don't really have a favorite team but the Daris on the Orange Team is a cutie!  And his Mom was cracking me up!  I was yelling at the TV for Jillian to leave that poor old lady alone.  We like the Tonga brothers but I was disappointed that they didn't do the Philipe/Sinone war chant.  The Pink Team looks really familiar....just like Helen and her daughter Shannon from Season 7.

I was amazed at what James was able to do at home!  Great job!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Day 11:Release Me

Today's Weight:    202
Yesterday's:           202.2
RELEASE:              .2 pounds
Total Release:          10.6 pounds

Week One Released:     9.2 pounds
Week Two Released      .9 pounds

I was reading the blog of someone on this protocol and she says that she is releasing weight. I loved the idea of this and then on my way to see Dr. Cindi yesterday (appointment went great...she's very happy with my progress) this song came on the radio and it was so fitting!  To release means to Let Go....I am letting go of this weight, this fat, these bad habits and my old way of life!  I sang this song to my food boyfriend!



Come on baby, come on baby
You knew it was time to just let go
'Cause we want to be free
But somehow it's just not that easy
Come on Darlin', hear me Darlin'
'Cause you're a waste of time for me
I'm trying to make you see
That baby you've just got to release me
Release me
Release me
I'm not going back to you anymore
Finally my weakened heart is healing though very slow
So stop coming around my door
'Cause you're not gonna find
What you're looking for


Waist:          36    in.......34.25 in    1.75 inches
Hips:            45    in.......43 in         2 inches
(*)(*)            41    in........40.25 in    1.75 inches
Up Thigh:     21.75 in...... 21 in          .75 inches
Lw Thigh:     20.25 in......19.5 in        .75 inches
Calf:            17.25 in......17 in           .25 inches
Bicep:          12.75 in......12.25 in       .5 inches


Blood Pressure: 124/80
BP 10 days in:   116/80 

Monday, January 4, 2010

Day 10: Detox

Today's Weight:    202.2
Yesterday's:         202.9
LOSS:                 .7 pounds
Total Loss:           10.4 pounds

Week One Loss: 9.2 pounds 
Week Two Loss:   .7 pounds


Brandi's comment scared the heck out of me yesterday! You will NOT find me cheating again! No Sir! I think I learned my lesson....why go through all of this to mess it up!

To try to make up for what I did Saturday....I did a detox day. I took a detox bath (2 cups baking soda and 2 cups epsom salt), drank detox tea and had Bobbi give me a massage. It was great (the massage) and I think I'm going to make ask Bobbi to get her massage table out more often!

I've decided to throw away the candy bars so that they don't temp me anymore.  And the chocolate chips and powdered sugar in the pantry.  Once this is over those things won't be getting used anymore so why keep them.  Plus, my family doesn't need them either.

Today I see Cindi at Wade Laser Clinic for my 10 day check up.  I'm excited to see where my fat percentage is and what that scale says about my weight.

Have a great day!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Day 9: Cheating

Today's Weight:    202.9
Yesterday's:         203.4
LOSS:                 .5 pounds
Total Loss:            9.7 pounds

Week One Loss: 9.2 pounds 

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **  

I went bowling with my family yesterday.  We gave the kids a snack and I ate my fish and tomato before we left, even though it was only 10:15am....I knew there wouldn't be anything healthy for me to eat there.  Hubby was a sweetheart and asked them to brew me some iced tea without sugar.  

It took us forever to bowl one game because our lane kept screwing up and they gave us a FREE game.  My kids can really only make it through one game; this was just their second time bowling after all. Halfway through the second game my son became very hungry and my husband decided to get the kids some lunch.  

He came back with burgercheese (that's what they call it...so cute) and Fries.  I love french fries.  Before this diet I was very good about French Fries....only eating a small amount.  I couldn't resist them.  I ate 3 really small ones when my husband wasn't looking.  They were sooooo good. 

And then when I got home, my brother in law had sent a package with Christmas presents and he sent candy bars....great big candy bars.  I ate a little piece of chocolate.

So...I'm sitting here surprised that I lost at all.  I thought for sure that I would gain today.  I'm so happy that I still lost a little bit but I think it will be a while before I cheat again! Like maybe a week.....

Thanks again for all of your support through this.  Now I need all of you to email me your phone numbers so I can call you next time I'm in a bad situation like yesterday!