Day 31: No Bread

Today's Weight:       191.2

Yesterday's:             192

RELEASED:               .8 pound

Total Released:        21.4 pounds  10.2%

Week One Released         9.2 pounds   4.4  %

Week Two Released:       3 pounds      1.4 %

Week Three Released:     4  pounds     2     %

Week Four Released:       3.8 pounds  1.8%

Week Five Released:        1.4 pounds

My buddy Kyle at Getting Better and Better has a great post up about being a food addict and how his emphasis on food has changed since getting healthy.  It's a must read for any food addict.

I've been struggling with this for a few days.  Food is never far from my thoughts, mainly because as the CEO of this family, at any given time....I'm either planning meals, making meals or cleaning up from meals.  I'm missing our weekly meal out because I seriously haven't had a break from cooking in 30 days.  And that makes me think about all of the food I won't be ordering anymore.  Food that has been apart of my life for years and years.  Food that I know isn't good for me.

It made me think about upcoming holiday's and birthdays and how I'm going to handle them.  Both me and Calvin grew up celebrating with food and giant cakes.  Everything  his family does is big! Big meals and portions and I'm sure it's no surprise that they are BIG people.  For my first birthday with his family...they ordered a HALF SHEET cake for 6 of us to eat.  Things have got to change....

I watched people at the food court at the mall on Saturday and I paid close attention to what they were eating.  All my favorites where there....chicken strips, burgers, shakes, fries and pizza.  I also noticed that all of these people were significantly overweight and I wondered where the skinny people were....oh yeah, she was sitting in the corner eating her grilled chicken salad without dressing.  LOL!  Did you catch that?  I just referred to myself as SKINNY!

But seriously, every time I go to the grocery store I get mad (if I was a toddler...I'd be throwing myself to the floor in a fit) about not being able to eat like I used to.  My whole life I've enjoyed food....If you asked me what things bring me joy...food would be towards the top.  The thought that I won't be able to enjoy some of these foods anymore makes me sad because my life is really pretty boring and if you take this away from me....

ON THE OTHER HAND....I feel better eating healthy CLEAN food.  I don't have heartburn or migraines anymore (going on 30 days for both of those), I'm sleeping so well and without 20 extra pounds, my knees aren't creaking.  I'm looking forward to being active with my kids and learning to ski.

I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that this protocol...is a learning process.  I'm learning to let go of the past and find a new way to be happy.  I know I will still eat some of my favorite foods but they will be few and far between.  Old habits are hard to break and I guess I'm more stubborn than I thought I was.





Tell me how I'm supposed to live with no bread

If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my bread away
Losing you is like living in a world with no carbs
Oh

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

So how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to live

[Chorus:]
Tell me how I'm supposed to live with no bread
Can't live, can't breathe with no bread
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no bread, no bread
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no bread, no bread

No bread, bread
No bread, bread
No bread, bread
No bread, bread

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my bread, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

So how do you expect me
to live alone with just veggies
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]

No bread, bread
No muffins, muffins
No naan, naan
No donuts, donuts
No more
It's no bread, no bread

EDITED:  I wrote this post yesterday morning after reading Kyle's post....four hours later I got a migraine.  And spent the rest of the day and evening in bed.  I finally got a break from cooking for my family....